Drenched, not ruffled
While people in other lands stew over minor
irritants such as pre-emptive wars peremptorily
launched over non-existent weapons of mass
destruction, the Irish at home and abroad
have more serious bones of contention to
pick, with each other and any one else who
wishes to become embroiled.
Writers and editors, playwrights and theatre
managers, have featured in some of the most
ferocious quarrels in the country's famous
past. Throw in a dispute over copyright which
almost led to war, and you get the flavour
if not the hang of the thing. Of course,
that was some time ago, when two saints -
they were still living, sainthood coming
later - clashed when one copied a book belonging
to the other.
Colmcille, a Donegal man if ever there was
one, made a copy of a book of the psalms
belonging to Ninnian. In those times that
was a laborious process. It all had to be
done by hand. There were no copying machines
and no scanners. Digitization meant using
your fingers.
Well, Ninnian was not happy when he found
out what Colmcille had done, and demanded
that the copy he made be returned at once.
"Get lost!" or an equivalent,
was the answer the received, and in the sequence
of events the followers of the two almost
went to war. It took the intervention of
the High King, Diarmuid MacCearbhall, to
settle the matter, and both sides agreed
to abide by his decision. When he rendered
his verdict it was reputed to be the first
ever given in the history of copyright law.
"To every cow its calf, to every book
its copy."
Fast forward a few centuries to 2005 and
the most recent demonstration of how such
differences still matter in literary circles.
It happened at a birthday party last month,
the birthday boy being novelist Brian Toibin.
There were luminaries of all shades and spices
present, including playwright Tom Murphy
and Gate Theatre director Michael Colgan.
Now anyone who was anyone knew that the
two never got on. They were both distinguished
in their fields. But there was one great
dividing difference. The director had never
put on a single play of Murphy's at the Gate.
As the party progressed matters came close
to boiling point when Colgan allegedly said
in the presence of Murphy: "You're only
a provincial playwright." Murphy replied:
"And you are the keeper of a museum
on Parnell Square."
The playwright then dumped a bowl of lamb
korma over the head of Colgan, splashing
several bystanders in the process.
Toibin, their host, reprised the role of
the peacemaker High King and prevented the
outbreak of another civil war then and there.
According to one guest, both antagonists
calmed down and stayed for a long time afterwards,
"so it can't have ruffled their feathers
too much."
It is nice to know important things still
matter in Ireland, but it's extremely doubtful
if Tom and Mick will have sainthood conferred
on them in the hereafter.
--30--
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