"Shure my second one was a jewel, a real jewel.

And look at him now! He's still a jewel. Look, Matilda, he's the one in the middle."

"You mean the big one, Philomena?"

"Yes, Matilda. And he was a big one too."

"But doesn't it make you, you know, uncomfortable, Philomena?"

"Well, at first, maybe. But then I thought about the price of funerals these days. Outrageous the prices they charge. And what do you end up with? A hole in the ground, that's what. And you can't show off a hole in the ground.

"Me sister Anastasia buried four of them and now she regrets it. She says if she ever has to do it again she'll follow my example."

"You're a right one, Philomena. There's no doubt about it. A real right one. How ever did you find out about it?"

"From a wastepaper basket, Matilda. There I was cleaning an office one night-you know how it is-and there was this newspaper in it, and didn't it have an article on the front page telling how to go about it. I still carry it in me handbag. Look, there it is."

"You mean this 'Ashes to diamonds' bit?"

"Read it Matilda, while I order us two more."

Innisfail, Alta.-A central Alberta family has become the first in Canada to order diamonds created from the remains of a loved one.

"Janey Mac, Philomena. Them Canadians-"

"Keep reading, Matilda. Keep reading."

A Chicago-based company has developed a process for turning the carbon found in a human cadaver into synthetic diamonds.

"Read on."

On average one body can provide enough carbon to make 50 diamonds. The cost ranges from $1,500 to $30,000 per diamond, depending on carat size….

After the 16-week process is finished, it is up to the families to decide whether to have them set in jewelry or left as they come.

"Let me see that ring again, Philomena."

"That's Jamesy, me second husband in the middle. The other two, well, they never did measure up to him.

What are you looking at now, Matilda?"

"Look at that big fella standing at the bar, Philomena. How many carats do you think he'd make?"

"Matilda! You can't be thinking what I'm thinking!"

"Philly dear. Don't you pretend to be shocked. After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend. I'll just go over and stand beside him as I order two more pints."

--30--