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New Canadian commandment "Thou shalt not smile"

"You're smiling."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"There you go. You're smiling again!"

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Inspector, this man is smiling!"

"Sir, are you smiling?"

"No, Inspector."

"Sir, I'll ask you again. Are you smiling?"

"I am not smiling, Inspector!"

"Sir, please step aside. You're holding up the line."

"This is outrageous!"

"Come with me, Sir."

"I refuse to budge."

"Officer, arrest this man! He's causing a disturbance. And he's smiling!"

This was the scene at a downtown Passport Office in Ottawa in November 2003 following the introduction of new regulations governing passport photos.

The regulations, which came into force on November 3, stipulate that all applicants for passports should not smile, frown, or manifest anything but solemn facial expressions when having their photographs taken.

Seriously!

The applicant in the above cameo was a regular Canadian who wore a smile on his face, his heart on his sleeve, and a Maple Leaf on his backpack, in other words a happy Johnny Canuck.

And here he was being told to wipe that smile off his face.

Seriously!

He couldn't believe it. The more he thought about it, the more laughable it seemed to him. In fact, he was broke out laughing next day when he was hauled into court. When the Judge saw that he immediately sentenced him to ten years penal servitude in one of the recently erected Gulag camps in the High Arctic.

That wiped the smile off his face, and he started to frown when he realized his plight.

"Frowning! Ten more years for contempt of court!" thundered the Judge.

The man's eyes turned sad.

"Sad looking! I won't have it! I won't have it in my court. Life, without eligibility for parole!"

--30--


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