New Canadian commandment
"Thou shalt not smile"
"You're smiling."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"There you go. You're
smiling again!"
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Inspector, this
man is smiling!"
"Sir, are you smiling?"
"No, Inspector."
"Sir, I'll ask you
again. Are you smiling?"
"I am not smiling,
Inspector!"
"Sir, please step
aside. You're holding
up the line."
"This is outrageous!"
"Come with me, Sir."
"I refuse to budge."
"Officer, arrest
this man! He's causing
a disturbance. And he's
smiling!"
This was the scene at
a downtown Passport
Office in Ottawa in
November 2003 following
the introduction of
new regulations governing
passport photos.
The regulations, which
came into force on November
3, stipulate that all
applicants for passports
should not smile, frown,
or manifest anything
but solemn facial expressions
when having their photographs
taken.
Seriously!
The applicant in the
above cameo was a regular
Canadian who wore a
smile on his face, his
heart on his sleeve,
and a Maple Leaf on
his backpack, in other
words a happy Johnny
Canuck.
And here he was being
told to wipe that smile
off his face.
Seriously!
He couldn't believe it.
The more he thought
about it, the more laughable
it seemed to him. In
fact, he was broke out
laughing next day when
he was hauled into court.
When the Judge saw that
he immediately sentenced
him to ten years penal
servitude in one of
the recently erected
Gulag camps in the High
Arctic.
That wiped the smile
off his face, and he
started to frown when
he realized his plight.
"Frowning! Ten more
years for contempt of
court!" thundered
the Judge.
The man's eyes turned
sad.
"Sad looking! I
won't have it! I won't
have it in my court.
Life, without eligibility
for parole!"
--30--
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