Hark! Whose voice is
that?
(In which two Dublin
ladies of a certain vintage
continue discussing affairs
of state)
"I'm speechless.
Totally speechless.
Did you hear what he's
gone and done now, Matilda?"
"You, Philomena?
Speechless! Shure there's
miracles, and miracles.
But you speechless-"
"Matilda! Quit that!
It's no time for joking."
"I'm sorry, Philly.
I just couldn't resist.
Well, what is it? I'm
all ears."
"It's him again."
"Which him? The
fella who's been giving
you the eye-"
"Dammit, Matilda.
Just listen. Just listen
to me. This is serious.
It's yer man, the Taoiseach."
"Not again, Philomena!"
"Yes again, Matilda.
He's taking lessons."
"Isn't that good
news, Philly? Sure and
if he learns how to
apply his makeup that'll
cost us less!"
"No, Matilda. "It's
not the makeup thing.
It's how he talks. He's
taking lessons."
"Lessons in how
to talk! Now you're
having me on. He's a
politician, for God's
sake! That's what they
do, all the time. Talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk.
They'd talk the hind
legs off an ass!"
"Matilda, will you
just this once listen
to me! There's this
talk trainer who gives
him lessons. I read
it myself, in the Indo
no less. It said that
there's this fella who
trains actors in The
Gaiety theatre, and
now he's training the
Taoiseach too."
"Now I know you're
joking, Philomena. There's
many a night I went
to the Gaiety, and let
me tell you Jimmy O'Dea
never needed no lessons.
Nor Maureen Potter,
nor any of them grand
actors. Shure they'd
have you laughing your
head off. And that other
wan, Brendan Grace --"
"Matilda, just shut
up! I'm telling you
it's true. It was in
the paper. I cut it
out myself. Now if I
can only find it. It's
here in my bag somewhere."
"All right, Philly,
all right. While you're
searching I'll get us
two more, even though
you've just told me
to shut up!"
"I'm sorry, Matilda.
I didn't mean it. Here's
the piece I wanted.
Read it yourself. I'll
get us refills."
REAPPOINTED member
to the new 13-member
Arts Council, Patrick
Sutton, has a part-time
job helping the
Taoiseach to communicate
properly.
The director of the
Gaiety School of
Acting and owner
of the communications
company, Communicate,
helps Bertie Ahern
and other leading
politicians to cut
out "waffle"
and to speak more
clearly and concisely
in front of a public
audience.
The 45-year-old Dubliner,
who is visited frequently
by the Taoiseach,
said that his job
involves "giving
politicians the
confidence to stand
up and communicate
properly when speaking
in public".
"I first find
out what people
want to say and
I cut out all the
frills and help
them deliver it
in a very clear
and confident way,"
he told the Sunday
Independent.
The new Arts Council
member said the
Taoiseach has been
a client of his,
on and off, for
the past two years.
"Thanks, Philly.
I see it was written
by Joanne Hegarty. If
it had been anyone else,
I'd have wondered."
"I think actors
call it elocution. First
makeup. Now elocution.
You know, Matilda, it
makes you wonder what
next. Posture? Dance
lessons? Acting?"
"Maybe, Philly,
he's training for a
part in next year's
panto."
"Next year? It's
year-round panto he's
in right now in the
Kildare Street Playhouse!"
--30--
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